Thursday, April 16, 2009

Things on Your Coffee Table That Express Who You Are

Who are you? You are what you eat. No, actually, clothes make the man. No, a man is judged by the company he keeps. If there weren't enough ways to read a personality, we're adding another one to the mix – you are what you display on your coffee table. Like it or not, everything you own, everything in your home, says a little bit about who you are.

Coffee tables are no longer just resting places for cups in transit or purses unclenched. They are a little display, a tag almost, that tells visitors about your interests, (or lack of them) your attitudes, and your general disposition.

For instance, a coffee table covered with fashion magazines and tabloids says that you probably aren't interested in the recent elections and that you've once had a crush on Brad Pitt but now prefer Johnny Depp. It also says that you're reasonably concerned about your appearance and that you make an attempt to look nice, as opposed to wearing the same pair of jeans for fifteen years until they either fall apart or don't fit anymore, even if you suck your stomach in and try not to breathe too much.

On the other hand, a coffee table with a book of black and white photography by Ansel Adams says that you have taste, are cultured enough to know who Ansel Adams is, says that you would rather watch Hitchcock's ‘Vertigo’ than 'Scream 12', and that you would like to be taken seriously during discussions about art being just for art's sake.

If your coffee table is covered with an assortment of candles, this can say a few things, depending. If the candles have been lit and used, you have hippie leanings. If the candles have never been lit, but just look really nice in their crystal stand, then you have preppie leanings. If the candles are burned down to the base and there is wax all over your table, and a layer of dust over the wax, then you've probably smoked marijuana at some point in your life, and are content to just let things be. Or you're a slob.

Other things that I've seen adorning coffee table range from china bowls to ash trays (which can again say a lot about you depending on how empty or full they are) to table lamps to jigsaw puzzles to newspapers, to telephones. I've seen a table with a stack of books about wine pairing at a chef's house and playboy magazines at a lawyer’s house (go figure.) I've seen surprising things like pin cushions and cutlery stands in the less organized homes, and even more surprising things like automobile magazines in my grandmother's home. In any case, when I visit a home, I delve into the accumulation of stereotypes in my head and pull one out based on what I see on your coffee table. It's time to put away those lace doilies and bring out the collector's edition scrabble board.

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